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Share icon An curved arrow pointing right. Pinterest icon The letter “P” styled to look like a thumbtack pin. Tops generally like to be the more dominant person during sex, while bottoms follow their lead. Verses generally like to switch between sexual positions of power with their partners. Top editors give you the stories you want — delivered right to your inbox each weekday.
Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you’re on the go. Sign up’, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider as well as other partner offers and accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The popular terms describe sexual preferences in the queer community. It’s important to note that each of these categories means something a little different to each person, so no one definition is perfect. Here is a general idea of what it means to be a top, bottom, or verse. A top is someone who prefers to be the person in control during sex Tops generally prefer to take a more active role in sex by acting as the person who penetrates, gives oral sex, or does other sexual acts. For people with penises, this can mean wanting to be the person penetrating rather than receiving.
Because queer sex can look many different ways, being a top doesn’t necessarily refer to the specifics of how sex is had. Instead, it refers to a power dynamic in which one person is in control and the other person takes the lead. Within the category of “top,” there are subsections that may refer to the specifics of how people like to have sex. A “stone top” refers to someone who only likes to “give” during sex and not receive.